Hallucination date - January 2017
It was January 2017 and I was feeling very unwell and not myself. I was more jerky and forgetful than usual. As it turns out it was all down to a UTI (urinary tract infection). If they had found the cause faster and the right strain of urine infection then they could have treated it with a specific antibiotic to clear it. The nurse was unsure how to treat me. I became unconscious and unresponsive. If something like this happens they have no choice but to transfer me immediately to the hospital. My family went to the hospital to see how I was and they saw me jerking more and eventually have a seizure. I don't remember it. However, I know that it was horrendous for everyone else involved.
The dream I had must have occurred as I became conscious, in response to a general antibiotic given. It felt very real as if it was actually happening. I was at Victoria station. I had no arms, no legs just stumps with flower presses for hands and feet. There were people walking past but no one helped me or even looked at me. I was neglected and therefore slowly starved to death. When I died I could then see a large square-shaped room with big, dark, red, velvet curtains tied back with gold-coloured rope tassels. I floated into this room and started bouncing up and down from corner to corner. I continued bouncing and got faster and faster. My hair. My nose. My ears. My chin. My stumps and the flower presses fell off and dissolved. Then my skin peeled away. My bones and my organs fell away until all that was left was my teeth, eyes and tongue. There were other people in the same situation so we could see and talk to each other. I floated around for a while. Everything was blue, it was if we were in a giant aquarium with no fish. I drifted down as if I was on an invisible current. I ended up in the bottom left hand corner of the tank (that's where everyone seemed to go before leaving the tank). I left the dead human aquarium.
Next, I drifted off to a large room. I met my mum and her partner who were also eyes, tongue and teeth (that's apparently all you need in the afterlife). It's sad because they were dead as well but It was good at the same time because they helped explain what was happening. It was very reassuring. In the next room there was a long row of large armchairs in a semi-circle. The armchairs were old-fashioned, red leather with gold studs. I sat in one, next to my mum and her partner. In the other chairs there were other people, who were just eyes, tongues and teeth as well. They all looked the same as me but somehow you could tell them apart. I don't know who they were but they seemed important. We had to decide the fate of the children and the families because there was not enough room for everyone in the afterlife. A pretty grim task indeed.
I guess at this point I woke up because I can't remember anymore of the dream. I realised I was in the hospital. I think I was shouting at people in there. I was hallucinating badly. The nurses offered me medication but I refused because I thought they were injecting me with formaldehyde and LSD through a cannula in my hand. (And obviously I didn't want that). I could feel my hand becoming cold, I could feel the drugs moving through my veins. I was using the muscles and veins in my arms to try and push the drugs out but as they were being injected too fast, it was a constant battle. So that's why I was refusing. This whole time I never actually had a cannula, they were using my PEG which is a small hole in my stomach. The doctor said Dan needs his medication or he is going to die. However, doctors are required to listen to the patient's desires but my desires were overridden by my family, thankfully. The nursing staff forced the medication on me (there was loads of formaldehyde in 4 litre bottles that looked like surgical spirit, all ready for me). Then the meds started to work quickly and I become normal again. (At least as normal as I have ever been!) I stayed at the hospital for a few days and then returned to Putney.
When I think about this dream now, I can see it again as if I am there. It's slightly faded as it was a long time ago but it didn't scare me then nor does it now - although It probably should!
It was January 2017 and I was feeling very unwell and not myself. I was more jerky and forgetful than usual. As it turns out it was all down to a UTI (urinary tract infection). If they had found the cause faster and the right strain of urine infection then they could have treated it with a specific antibiotic to clear it. The nurse was unsure how to treat me. I became unconscious and unresponsive. If something like this happens they have no choice but to transfer me immediately to the hospital. My family went to the hospital to see how I was and they saw me jerking more and eventually have a seizure. I don't remember it. However, I know that it was horrendous for everyone else involved.
The dream I had must have occurred as I became conscious, in response to a general antibiotic given. It felt very real as if it was actually happening. I was at Victoria station. I had no arms, no legs just stumps with flower presses for hands and feet. There were people walking past but no one helped me or even looked at me. I was neglected and therefore slowly starved to death. When I died I could then see a large square-shaped room with big, dark, red, velvet curtains tied back with gold-coloured rope tassels. I floated into this room and started bouncing up and down from corner to corner. I continued bouncing and got faster and faster. My hair. My nose. My ears. My chin. My stumps and the flower presses fell off and dissolved. Then my skin peeled away. My bones and my organs fell away until all that was left was my teeth, eyes and tongue. There were other people in the same situation so we could see and talk to each other. I floated around for a while. Everything was blue, it was if we were in a giant aquarium with no fish. I drifted down as if I was on an invisible current. I ended up in the bottom left hand corner of the tank (that's where everyone seemed to go before leaving the tank). I left the dead human aquarium.
Next, I drifted off to a large room. I met my mum and her partner who were also eyes, tongue and teeth (that's apparently all you need in the afterlife). It's sad because they were dead as well but It was good at the same time because they helped explain what was happening. It was very reassuring. In the next room there was a long row of large armchairs in a semi-circle. The armchairs were old-fashioned, red leather with gold studs. I sat in one, next to my mum and her partner. In the other chairs there were other people, who were just eyes, tongues and teeth as well. They all looked the same as me but somehow you could tell them apart. I don't know who they were but they seemed important. We had to decide the fate of the children and the families because there was not enough room for everyone in the afterlife. A pretty grim task indeed.
I guess at this point I woke up because I can't remember anymore of the dream. I realised I was in the hospital. I think I was shouting at people in there. I was hallucinating badly. The nurses offered me medication but I refused because I thought they were injecting me with formaldehyde and LSD through a cannula in my hand. (And obviously I didn't want that). I could feel my hand becoming cold, I could feel the drugs moving through my veins. I was using the muscles and veins in my arms to try and push the drugs out but as they were being injected too fast, it was a constant battle. So that's why I was refusing. This whole time I never actually had a cannula, they were using my PEG which is a small hole in my stomach. The doctor said Dan needs his medication or he is going to die. However, doctors are required to listen to the patient's desires but my desires were overridden by my family, thankfully. The nursing staff forced the medication on me (there was loads of formaldehyde in 4 litre bottles that looked like surgical spirit, all ready for me). Then the meds started to work quickly and I become normal again. (At least as normal as I have ever been!) I stayed at the hospital for a few days and then returned to Putney.
When I think about this dream now, I can see it again as if I am there. It's slightly faded as it was a long time ago but it didn't scare me then nor does it now - although It probably should!
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